


Of Ninja Ants and Magical Baguettes

by Shadow_Of_Castiel



Category: Stonehenge Apocalypse (2010), Supernatural
Genre: Crack, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-07
Updated: 2010-08-07
Packaged: 2017-10-10 23:40:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/105723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadow_Of_Castiel/pseuds/Shadow_Of_Castiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean, Sam and Castiel have an experience while in a diner.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Ninja Ants and Magical Baguettes

Dean knew that they were in for a bad day as soon as he saw the army of ninja ants. In and of itself a horde of ants wasn't such an unusual sight, yet considering that Dean, Sam and Castiel were currently sitting in a diner at the time, a posse of six foot tall ants , wearing black ninja outfits could decidedly be called somewhat unusual.

Dean tried to ignore them at first, despite the fact that currently one of them was standing next to him giving him the evil eye. Sam had long since hidden beneath the table, folding himself beneath the wooden structure far easier than his tall frame would otherwise indicate. Castiel was staring malevolently at the ant, daring it to lay one feeler upon the elder Winchester with an intense scowl upon his handsome face.

When Dean didn't react, instead focussing with almost obsessive determination upon his slice of pie and therefore deeming the ninja ant as nothing more than a bizarre form of blasphemy, the ant predictably reacted. The ant slammed his feelers and then his mandibles upon the table in front of Dean, squishing and squashing the hunter's pie in the process. Dean roared in sudden anger, not taking too kindly to any man or ant messing with his pie on the best of days. He stood and lashed out at the ant, laying blow after blow upon the ant's mostly hidden face, while the rest of the ninja ant horde started laying waste to the diner, throwing impressive feats of ninja moves into the faces of all and sundry.

Tomato ketchup flew everywhere, splattering against the walls in great swathes , looking a little too much like blood for Sam's liking, from his vantage point beneath the table. Castiel stood, coat flapping around his legs as he pitched in to help Dean, fists flying everywhere as he smote the ants into insectoid oblivion. Several people were harmed in the making of the fight, as was even more choice pieces of diner furniture and at least one little girl's plate of fresh and hot cherry pie.

Finally, between Dean and Castiel, they laid waste to the ninja horde of ants, leaving the small worker bee that theretofore had no other part to play to scurry home to the Queen. No one seemed to notice that there were several dead or unconscious six foot tall ninja ants laying everywhere; the rest of the inhabitants of the diner were more concerned with the state of their food decorating the walls like fancy pebbledash.

Sam decided it was a good time to vacate the diner, skipping out before they were forced to either pay for the damage, or worse, pay for everyone's dinner. Dean had the foresight to grab three large baguettes on the way out as payment for ridding the diner of their plague of ninja ants.

The fun didn't stop at just being attacked by a horde of ninja ants. It continued in the shape of the trio eating their baguettes at a safe distance from the diner (aka three feet away.) Castiel's baguette was a magic one, or so it turned out, because as soon as he finished eating it, he started to sneeze, spraying magical spells everywhere and causing great big piles of cupcakes to magically appear as if from nowhere. Each and every one of them came directly sneezed from a local bakery called Misha's Cupcakes, Dean was amused to note, mere seconds before he started demolishing the nearest cake just because it happened to have a sugar angel stuck on the top.

Meanwhile, Sam was trying to get the sneezing angel to stop sneezing, trying to stem the flow of cupcakes with a hastily placed handkerchief, only to end up splattered with sponge and icing. The tall hunter gave up; instead standing back to watch Castiel sneeze more edible delicacies in Dean's direction. The elder Winchester was all too happy to eat every single last piece that Castiel shot his way, before the angel started to sneeze kittens.

Nearby, a man walked past, attracting the attention of Sam, who thought he looked like Castiel in different clothing. The man who looked remarkably like Castiel seemed intent on proclaiming that he didn't say that it was aliens on the moon, he said it was a robot head. The man also seemed intent on damning someone called Joseph. Sam let him go without question, deciding that he'd had enough of strange people for one day.

Nearby, a man walked past, leading his pet Tyrannosaurus Rex on a leash. Sam was the only one who noticed, Castiel being too busy with sneezing and Dean too busy catching the results. The T Rex roared, then meowed, and Sam decided he'd be better off staying out of it.

Finally, they managed to get Castiel's sneezes to a bare minimum of one kitten and one cupcake per minute, to which Dean finally permitted the stricken angel into the back of his Impala. By the time that they'd reached the motel room, the back seat of the car was filled with mewling kittens, sweet smelling cupcakes and, bizarrely, pungent garlic bread, all of which was making Sam feel a little seasick.

Dean, however, was glad to note that Castiel had stopped sneezing, the effects of the magical baguette having now worn off, burnt away by the strength of the angel healing himself with his own Grace. No explanation was ever found for why the baguette was magical or how it had such a profound effect upon Castiel, but Dean didn't have room to complain. He had plenty of free food for a month and he made money on the sale of kittens. Castiel, however, kept one of the kittens to look after, unable to resist its soft little face a moment longer. Even Sam had to admit the angel looked cute with the kitten cupped in his hands, small feline life purring as it slept in the angel's presence.

And so their life continued, without any further altercations with hordes of ninja ants or magical baguettes, although Dean did have to deal with a certain kitten's surprise gifts left in his car and the resultant puppy dog eyes Castiel gave him whenever Dean threatened to get rid of the cat. Unable to deny the angel a thing, Dean always allowed Castiel to keep the kitten, always proving to Sam that his elder brother really was a soft touch ...

~fini~


End file.
